The battle has begun -Men and material crossing us will be have neck chopped off…

He started the battle against defaulters and wrongdoers:

  1. Aggressively dealt with company selling high rise office chair for noticing defects and their irresponsible T&C. Service personnel ran to him and settled the issues within a day.
  2. Long pending Janome Automatic Sewing machine defect complaint that Usha had been procrastinating neglecting have been settled in same day, by speaking derogatorily to Customer Care.
  3. Dispute with Airtel data plan that the promised amount of data wasn’t granted was solved in couple of days by telling the company not to give wrong ads regarding offers.
  4. Reliance Jio Sim that promised some Gb 4G data troubled him so much that he couldn’t play single YouTube song or download single YouTube movie. So, at the night he resolved to punish it next day by sucking out data and overdid by downloading by two different softwares. He was cheered by such success even against machines.
  5. He also reported fault of USPS for not promptly updating tracking status to the seller/ sender in the US. But, he hasn’t received any response. He plans to take action by talking to USPS customer care online.

His war of self-discipline:

  1. He has already achieved strict sleeping schedule albeit with minor disturbances and plans to increase energy, vigilance during day by eugeroics and curb minor disturbances in symptoms affecting consistency in work through augmentation strategies by mild agents and subtle alterations in medication regimen. He aims to work continuously and tirelessly.
  2. He wants good aerobic exercise schedule to be implemented as part of his health program.
  3. He is great idealist, but this hinders his normal performance and achievement of targets. So, he wants to spend energies on realizing those ideals instead of pondering upon, narrating and explaining those ideals that sets him apart from rest.
  4. He has already started learning and preparing advance topics in mathematics. But, he has to correct his improper approach in working with those things.
  5. He has collected appropriate papers in theoretical neuroscience but he is yet to allot time due to lack of regimented discipline and inefficiencies by fine tuning his health program.

His other wars in pipeline:

  1. He plans to confront with neuroscience institute, NBRC regarding lapse or neglect on their part for his application for Project Assistant, that he appeared once back in 2013. Those interviewers, so called scientists dealt with him as though they’re super-intelligent and he were a nascent, naïve child to go through their @#$%ing bullshit Lab pages of website to make him consider to go for PhD. But, the bullshit institute didn’t have research group of his interest and why to @#$% off 4-6 years on something not worth to him. He wrote about lazy webmasters who had mentioned prerequisites for MSc neuroscience to two professors there that they are contrary to what registrar office has given clarification that non life science majors aren’t permissible for MSc neuroscience. But, time now is different with reading volumes of information from research papers to neuroscience/ psychiatry texts by reputed international experts, solving his own mental health issues in highly scientific manner and learning about latest research methods in psychiatry/ behavioral neuroscience and starting behavioral neuroscience blog, he has enough of knowledge and courage to make the bullshit professors face his wrath by highly insulting, criticizing them to the point that gone are the days that he used to run after psychiatrists and scientists. Instead they have to run after him.
  2. His next target is IIT-Math faculty, that he wants to cripple by hitting few targets. He will challenge them in all fronts and aspects and insult criticize and harass them to break all bones of ego, for all wrongdoings and abuse of power of position.
  3. Also, the psychiatrists who have misdiagnosed and wrongly medicated him for years and portrayed themselves as great expert authorities will face the same consequences as teachers.
  4. He cant tolerate insult connected to spiritual knowledge. He will thwart anyone and make them kneel and subject to wrath and wont care if it affects even youngsters with great aspirations. So, his targets in this aspect are his relatives – uncles and cousins. But, he is confident that end is good instead of great sorrow as final result.
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His Current Devised Strategy, Efforts to Prompt Actions, Maintaining Discipline, Consistency and being Systematic

He knows that success is mix of strong tenacity of purpose/ mission, vision, strategy, tact/ prompt decisions, prompt actions, perpetual efforts, maintaining discipline, schedule, consistency and systematicness. Now, he has mission, vision, even makes prompt prudent decisions, but the part that he lags is prompt actions, perpetual efforts, time and work management, maintaining discipline, schedule, consistency and being systematic. He wants to achieve career goal that he has expressed – becoming businessman or monarch. To be administrator or governor of organization or state one should achieve success in administrating and governing himself.

He wants to prove to psychiatrist and the world by becoming and achieving status of both entrepreneur and monarch. He has achieved first step of success after fighting hard and continuously by efforts and simple tact. He has regularized circadian rhythms and achieved sleeping schedule of starting at 23.00h at the most to 4.30h at the most. He has to work beyond this in managing time and work efficiently and optimally. This would lead his work culture and lifestyle to be organized. He has tendency to relapse into irregularity but he has to effort continuously to maintain discipline, schedule, consistency and being systematic and efficient work and time management. He has found a means to achieve this by reminding purpose, motivation, what and how of maintaining discipline, being systematic, efficient time and work management time and  time again by displaying them as desktop background.

As for his academic or scientific project is concerned, motivation is twofold – it has both spiritual and material implications. Spiritual implication is fulfilling godly mission by giving secular perspective to Spiritual Knowledge. Material implication is to enable him to learn volumes of information – Spiritual as well as material Knowledge in short time by finding or developing technology of transferring data in digital form from computer into brain as neural data. This would in turn enable him in fulfilling his godly mission more efficiently.

As for business he is educated, tech savvy, has got insights, prudence about arming himself with knowledge drawn from financial engineering, management, digital marketing, business laws, business communication, etc. Further as, doing job is not viable for him as per job market trends, he has no other career option.

Certainly, world is not going to accept his ideas, wont be convinced of his reasons about his potentials to be researcher, entrepreneur and monarch, until he practically becomes. There is no need of proof for something evident. For achieving these goals, he has to effort continuously, consistently, persistently at human pace until availability of technology to transfer data from computer to brain enabling him to quickly achieve his goal and not waiting for same. He has to work simultaneously on all the 3 aspects/ areas.

He has prioritize his list of things to do, channelize his energy, instead of scattering it randomly. More than this is to lead a regimented life, with reasonable allocation of time for each activity in professional social, personal spheres of life. He will learn to optimize these in due course of time with practical experience gained by planning, adjusting and succeeding in each stage.

His Mission, His Recent Insights and Actions

His main mission statement has been – IIM – Investigation, Interpretation and [prevention of] Misuse [of Spiritual Knowledge]. As it is said Knowledge is totally distinct from worship or devotion or belief, he wants to make Spiritual Knowledge independent of scriptures or any ritual from any sort of traditional belief. He wants to devise a method by which Spiritual Knowledge to take support of logic, science, history, Hermetic Theory, scaling of time and size by affine transformations. He wants to carryout investigations of Spiritual Knowledge based on carefully examining facts from above realms. There are certain points i.e., certain aspects or points that are seemingly asymmetrical in his perceptions that he wants to investigate upon.

Regarding sciences exploring Spirit, Brain and Machine connections he has come up with an approach to equip him in his research. He has to get good theoretic grounding then diverging towards more of applied aspects like Engineering – Electrical, Computer, and Biomedical.

Mathematics part: Measure theory, fractal, chaos, algebraic, differential topology, Functional  Analysis, Fourier Analysis, Distributions and Fourier Transforms, Banach Algebra and Spectral Theory, Harmonic Analysis.

His choice of books for them:

  • Measure, Topology, and Fractal Geometry – Edgar
  • An Introduction to Mathematical Chaos Theory and Fractal Geometry –Donahue
  • Introduction to Topology and Modern Analysis – GF Simmons
  • Algebraic Topology– EH Spanier
  • Differential Topology – Guillemin, Pollack
  • Differential Topology & Quantum Field Theory – C Nash
  • Protein Structure: Geometry, Topology and Classification – Taylor, May, Brown
  • Functional Analysis – W Rudin
  • Primer on Wavelets and Their Scientific Applications 2e – Walker
  • A Handbook Of Harmonic Analysis – Yoshihiro Sawano

Physics part: Starting with Theoretical Physics, Quantum Physics, Quantum Chemistry, Quantum Field Theory, Quantum Computing, then a course on Electric and Electronic Engineering.

His Choice of books on these topics:

  • Concepts in Theoretical Physics – B. Simons
  • Quantum Mechanics and Quantum Field Theory (2011) – J Dimock
  • Quantum Chemistry 3rd Ed – Lowe, Peterson
  • An Introduction to Quantum Field Theory – Peskin and Schroeder
  • Advanced Topics in Quantum Field Theory A Lecture Course – M Schifman
  • Quantum Computation and Quantum Information 10th Ed – Neilson, Chuang
  • Explorations in Quantum Computing 2nd Ed – C. Williams
  • Nano, Quantum And Molecular Computing – Shukla, Bahar
  • Physics in Mind: A Quantum View of the Brain – Werner Loewenstein
  • The Electrical Engineering Handbook –Dorf
  • Complete Digital Design: A Comprehensive Guide to Digital Electronics and Computer System Architecture –Balch
  • Foundations of Analog and Digital Electronic Circuits –Agarwal
  • fundamental electrical and electronic principles 3e – Robertson

The Computer Science part: He thinks of having broad understanding on theoretical computer science, automata, formal languages, computing, then soft computing – machine learning, fuzzy logic, neural nets, evolutionary computing – genetic algorithms, stochastic algorithms etc., then proceeding to Computer Engineering then to Systems Engineering and Architecture.

His Choice of books on these topics:

  • Theoretical Computer Science –Goldreich, Rosenberg, Selman
  • Elements of Information Theory 2nd Ed – T. Cover, J. Thomas
  • Introduction to Theory of Automata, Formal Languages and Computing – Hopcroft and Ullmann.
  • Introduction to Theory of Computation – Michiel Smid
  • Computational Complexity – Christos Papadimitriou
  • Introduction to Soft Computing – Eva Volna
  • Learning and Soft Computing: support vector machines, neural networks, and fuzzy logic models – Vojislav Kecman
  • Soft Computing for Knowledge Discovery and Data Mining – Maimon, Rokach
  • Evolutionary Computing in Advanced Manufacturing – Tiwari, Harding
  • Introduction to Evolutionary Algorithms– Yu, Gen
  • Evolutionary Algorithms for Solving Multi-Objective Problems – Coello, Lamont and Van Veldhuizen
  • Artificial Intelligence and Soft Computing: Behavioral and Cognitive Modeling of the Human Brain – Amit Konar
  • Cognitive Robotics – Hooman Samani
  • Fuzzy Sets and Fuzzy logic: Theory and Applications – Yuan, Klir
  • A First Course in FUZZY and NEURAL CONTROL – Nguyen, Prasad, Walker
  • An Introduction to Genetic Algorithms – Mitchell Melanie
  • Neural Networks in Bioprocessing and Chemical Engineering – Baughman and Liu
  • Data Mining: Concepts, Models, Methods, and Algorithms – Kantardzic
  • Data Mining: Practical Machine Learning Tools and Techniques – Witten, Frank, Hall
  • An Introduction to Systems Science – Warfield
  • Computer Systems: Theory, Technology and Applications – Herbert, Jones
  • The Computer Engineering Handbook – Oklobdzija

Biology part: Systems Biology, Neuroscience, Biophysics, Bioinformatics, Mathematical and Computational, Cognitive Neuroscience, Biomedical, Neural Engineering.

Assorted books addressing Biology part:

  • Life: An Introduction to Complex Systems Biology (Understanding Complex Systems) – Kaneko
  • Translational Systems Biology Concepts and Practice for the Future of Biomedical Research 1st Ed – Vodovotz, An
  • Computational Systems Biology 2nd Ed – Eils, Kriete
  • Theoretical Neuroscience Computational and Mathematical Modeling of Neural Systems – Dayan, Abbott
  • Dynamical Systems in Neuroscience: The Geometry of Excitability and Bursting – Izhikevich
  • Guide to Research Techniques in Neuroscience – Carter, Shieh
  • Cognitive Neuroscience 3rd Ed – Banich, Compton
  • Computational Neuroscience: A First Course – Mallot
  • Computational Explorations in Cognitive Neuroscience: Understanding the Mind by Simulating the Brain – O’Reilly, Munakata & McClelland
  • Illustrated Review of Neuroscience – Krebs, Weinberg, Akesson
  • Neuroscience –Purves, Augustine, Fitzpatric, Hall, White
  • Bioinformatics for Biologists – Pevzner, Shamir
  • Bioinformatics: Databases and Systems – Letovsky
  • Bioinformatics and Systems Biology: Collaborative Research and Resources – Marcus
  • Comprehensive Biophysics – Egelman
  • Bioinformatics and Biomedical Engineering Part I, II – Ortuño, Rojas
  • Physiology, Biophysics, and Biomedical Engineering – Wood
  • Handbook Of Neural Engineering – Metin Akay

His Resolve that He Made and Expressed Recently

Recently he was not accepting the idea that his parents were fixed to – the conventions of world that he didn’t subscribe to. Since college itself he didn’t believe in colleges, classes, lecturers, even expressed [being outspoken] to his seniors. He believed more in books, libraries and labs [maybe not the labs he had in his college]. He was assertive to his conformist parents who insisted on competitive exams as integral part of social conventions. He replied if the conventions be followed by the populist opinions, directions and actions then if the crowd lead us to pit, well, sewer, etc then should we follow them to fall into them? Still they were unrelenting and him too unaccepting. He also argued that what makes sense for a PhD or Grad Degree holder to be examined? They have already overcome so many academic exams. May be a jackass or at the most learned tyrant would be examiner for them which is absurd. He considers present day exams a bullshit. The system either measures capacity to rote, or the ability to labor or speed of mind at the most but destroys creativity, fails to give clear, practical perspective of education, shuns morale and motivation of learning, knowledge and experience. All it does is to narrow the life down to curriculum. It neither does what is supposed to nor lets others do.

Even when had just completed his post graduation degree in Grad School, he said life is not confined to the boundaries of school. Life is something that is totally different. Success or fail in school didn’t determine that in life. In fact he has college/ Grad School failure mates doing well in life – decently employed and well settled with family, though he didn’t fail at any level despite all odds against him that he has already explained in earlier posts.

He is Scorpio/ with Scorpio decanate and cusp – lord and sub-lord being same – Pluto/ Mars according to Western Astrology and with Leo in rising. He wants to make a point from his horoscope in relevance to the topic at hand or the flow that. When thwarted, you don’t just accept defeat. You’re extremely agile when it comes to sidestepping obstacles and figuring out a dozen new ways to get to your goal. …. The Scorpion energy, drive, and endurance are legend. …Many Scorpio natives are brilliant doctors, surgeons, scientists, and spiritual leaders. Jonas Salk, Christiaan Barnard, Marie Curie, and Martin Luther are among them. The complexity of your mind makes it difficult for you to skim the surface; you must uncover what lies beneath. Whether you are studying a new subject, learning a language, hunting down a fact, or just reading for amusement, there is a quality of penetration in the way your mind works.[Marie Curie and Martin Luther being his favorites]…you’re not going to let yourself fail along the way. When you latch on to a new opportunity, you explore it in great depth before going aheadyou will always be one of life’s great winners. At times, however, you feel you are a lone warrior in a harsh world. …FIRST DECANATE – You have fixed opinions, but also a scientific turn of mind that will examine ideas and arrive at a new opinion should the facts warrant it … CUSP OF SCORPIO – You have a strong will, but unless you are crossed or thwarted you don’t often show it.   Leo Ascendant- The Sun, which rules Leo, is very prominent in your horoscope. The influence of the Sun bestows enthusiasm, generosity, power, warmth, creative self-expression, passion, and courage. It also encourages egotism, arrogance, snobbism, conceit, pomposity, and condescension.Leo-Rising people seem surrounded by luck in money, career, and friendship. You are not an especially hard worker but tend to achieve success through the influence and pull of others. Fame and fortune come to you when you aren’t looking for it.~~ ALL ABOUT ASTROLOGY – The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need by Joanna Martine Woolfolk.

His response to his career question by his parents and psychiatrist lately was – except career of monarch and entrepreneur everything is nothing, waste. He argued by taking example of Peter I ‘the Great'[he calls him just Tsar Peter] that during his one and half years of European tour, neither nation’s administration was affect nor he himself had worry about money and food. Similar is the case of established entrepreneur. His mother argued that present actors like Akshay Kumar who ranks 9th highest paid actor according to Forbes List that they are rich, what will they do of money? Cant they axe-away portion of assets to the needy. He replied they aren’t rich. They are just are professionals, have to work to earn money. If they don’t work then they don’t have money. The rich ones are the magnates.

In case of monarch case is totally different. Monarch doesn’t depend on his subjects but instead subjects depends on monarch. Moreover, monarch doesn’t work for a salary unlike a Prime Minister. Enlightened (absolute) monarch has according to Enlightenment principles works like a charity to govern subjects to their best interests as father/ godmother of subject, subjects being his/ her children and knows their interest and welfare better themselves. The monarch could also have enlightened philosophers and scientists as his advisers. But, the decision is that of the monarch. Famous Enlightened monarchs in Europe were Catherine II the Great of Russia, Joseph II of Austria, Fredrick II the Great of Prussia. They may have adhered to ideals to varied degrees. According to him Peter I of Russia was more than Enlightened Despot. If he weren’t barbaric he would have qualified to be Enlightened monarch. But, he did more than administration. He lead a social, cultural, scientific revolution. He left no aspect of state untouched. He set up several academies, secular schools and courts. Certainly for certain aspects Iron Hand is needed f.e. to curb corruption, to create order in the state. In Asia/ India monarch placed more value on dharma (righteousness.) They can be said to be ahead of west but in crude form that the Western philosophers and monarchs refined it and gave a scientific and rational perspective. Perfect example of dharmic monarch of India who applied dharmic principles in administration was Asoka ‘the Great’. He also used dharma as political tool. “Conquer through dharma is superior to that through war.” After adopting dharma Asoka gave up waging wars. Asoka is internationally famous both in East (due to Buddhism)and West(due to familial relation with the Greeks).  India also has other monarchs who are still national heroes – Shivaji of Maratha Empire, Ranjeet Singh of Sikh Empire, who ended 500 year Moslem rule in Kashmir, was a secular ruler never awarded capital punishment, Chandragupta of Mauryan Empire (grandfather of Asoka), who established united India, married a Greek princess Helena, opening gate to Hellenist World, reign of Samudragupta and Chandragupta II of Gupta dynasty, termed as Golden Age of India. Chinese traveler Faxian arrived during the reign of Chandragupta II and gave a general description of North India at that time. Among the other things, he reported about the absence of capital punishment, the lack of a poll-tax and land tax. Most citizens did not consume onions, garlic, meat, and wine. Despite all these meritorious, magnanimous monarchs why Indians in particular and foreigners dislike monarchy, that he doesn’t understand. May be due to few scoundrels like Aurangzeb, idiots like Tughluq. He loathed democracy (of India) since his college times due to their ineptness and failure due to instability.

His Future Directions and Actions

On having official diagnosis of ADHD he is into Ritalin SR. But, he hasn’t yet achieved total remission. He wishes to settle with Concerta in future that he considers better drug approved for Adult ADHD. This will help better with healing of his brain.

Further, despite having strong interest in sciences, he wont be taking conventional route to achieve it, but as at present his priority is money, thus he will propel through business route to catch his scientific career. He doesn’t believe in working in a lab but aims for owning a lab. By commercialization, he can combine money and knowledge to fulfill his interest in sciences. Despite this he can continue studying advanced math and sciences. He will be publishing Problems thought or proved by or topics that interest Phoenix Russ. Beside this he has project to prepare math, chem and neuroscience lectures in WYSIWYG LaTeX.

Of all sciences, as he is utilitarian, he would work in the field that will be directly of his use, fulfilling his personal needs, instead of some field that caters need of some other population – the fields encompassing connections between spirit, brain and  machine. He is often intrigued by similarity in meaning of occult (spirit science) that is called tantric and neuroscience that is called tantrika  in Hindi. Definitely, he expects some connection. He also came across a psychiatric paper where genuinely possessed British person(of Indian origin) was relieved by psychiatric drugs when priest from all religions failed in removing it. Similarly, he came across a WP page where a witch saved a terminal patient on whom doctors had given up all hopes of revival. So, he wants to study dynamics of such spirit-brain connections. Also, he wants to connect brain and computer to convert barrage of audio and visual data from digital representation to neural representation, so that volumes can be transferred to brain thereby relieving off time and effort needed for manually performing those tasks. He will also be starting WP page on spirit science and occult. He already has YouTube channel on General Topics on Spiritual Knowledge that is undergoing extensive renovations.

Earlier when he was suffering from cognitive dysfunction, he wanted to scientifically solve the problem, as he thought cognitive dysfunctions were part of bipolar illness instead of ADHD, the possibility of which had been turned down by many psychiatrists. So, as those cognitive symptoms were part of Bipolar disorder, that were often residual even after its treatment, he thought cognitive issues as distinct aspect of illness whose etiology and specific drugs have to be explored. To this end he wanted to work in lead labs of world to acquire those experimental chemicals and  investigate its potential promise and danger of drugs drawing knowledge from neurobiology, neuropsychopharmacology, psychiatric genetics, pharmacogenomics, etc in treating those residual symptoms. But, instead he wished to have access to National Medical Library through his friend, a research officer there and go through all advanced neuroscience books and solve the problem. But, things went as wished. Now, he has more collection of books, papers in neuroscience, psychiatry, neurology, psychology concerning his conditions than any other library. Consequently, he scientifically diagnosed his residual cognitive symptoms as ADD. Thereafter, he presented 3 scientific summaries to his psychiatrist, theoretically compelling him to accept. Thus he cut short time and effort needed to exploring it in labs. He will be publishing those summaries in another blog for psychobiology.

His ideas of superpower

His mission was to become superpower and make his state superpower. At that time Russia had fallen apart and America was lone superpower(2002) He also noted when he overcome disability no one on earth can stop him from becoming superpower. Now he has again become superpower. Superpower means having very powerful military, strong economy and top leader in technology. On individual level this translates into power of health, wealth and intellect(knowledge). His ultimate goal is to be independent in all respects. He has several agendas and routes to achieve this. In childhood he once said he will have several sources of income. Now after clearing major stumbling block of MH issues he is free to turn his idealism into realism and have diverse careers. He will also be founder of several organizations and institutions as forecasted in astrology reading. He will be living in foreign lands inhabited by Christians and Muslims. He will use all possible combinations to achieve his goals. He considers Christians and Buddhists to be intellectually advanced. Also, Christians had interest in India its culture, religion. They also ruled India. Also, Christians are now superpowers and China too has become superpower as it was centuries ago. He developed obsession about Christianity especially he has high opinions about Protestantism by reading their statutes. He considers them superior Christians and Catholics and Orthodoxies as inferior. He remembers Germany to hold more Nobels before WW 1 than USA, UK and Russia together and whatever is Russia and America today are due to Germany. He also visited Germany. He felt it his home.He also prefers Germany being located centrally in world and is not aligned to USA or Russia.

His later life and his struggles and victories.

As he wished to become scientist, he went on for a postgraduation in Mathematical Sciences. But, he had confidence that he would marry the cousin and do his PG by studying in DU without classes directly by reading textbooks of libraries, that he even expressed to his mother. But, she wasn’t supportive about the idea, being conservative. During his final year he gave entrance exams for PG admission. He also thought of applying for University of Delhi’s MSc Math or OR program. But, as he got call for interview and orientation for IIT-MSc, he as his family encouraged to takeup that for absence of all strikes and ragging menaces of university joined that program. But, at the same time since fall of final year UG, he was struck by an anxiety disorder called OCD due to his over laboring in academics. So, he was disarrayed as to how he will be continuing his higher studies. He himself went to AIIMS psychiatry department and undertook treatment, meanwhile he as provoked by his father he went to relax by meeting his love, still he was in pain he was experiencing romantic pleasure. After 3 months in treatment he was in remission from OCD symptoms. Moreover, his depressive symptoms have also gone by start of his academic session. His personality too was gradually changing from introvert to extrovert. His energies increased to nearly explosive – tremendous amounts of raw energy, need for just 4 hours of sleep, very sharp decisions, top reading speed and comprehension. He became increasingly sociable, expansive talking etc. At that point he seemed to be at top of the world. He also performed fairly well in internal exams of MSc. But, during major exams, his treatments were changed as diagnosis of mania was made and strong antimanics were given by psychiatrist Sanjay Chugh to drastically curb that episode, which also affected his performance and morale. He took such medications for an year, after which he was never able to perform as he could earlier. He faced total crisis and to all fuel to the fire, the IIT faculty also equally did injustice to him by not guiding properly and taking away grades even in scoring subjects even for no reason, deliberately – Rajesh Bhatt, Lipika Dey, BS Panda. He considers whole math dept of IITD responsible for his intellectual bankruptcy. Anyhow, he successfully completed his IIT-MSc, though with marginal GPA.

He wished further investigations in his MH matters. So, he headed for NIMHANS Bangalore. There, he was given yet a poor quality and harsher antimanic, that was followed up in IHBAS in Delhi. He took the treatment for 3 years that ruined him – his life and career totally. He lost his ability of reading. His memory was failing. He holds IHBAS psychiatrist SN Sengupta responsible for that.

Due to poor GPA and failing abilities, he became more and more dejected and demoralized. At one point he socially secluded, isolated. He didn’t wish to meet any of friends or relatives. These all were consequence of loss and absence of social status as result of previous failures. Now, he became distant from his 2 missions. He holds his teachers and doctors responsible for such situation. He even felt the grip of poverty due to not being earning hand and hence socially independent.

He slowly gave up these prescription drugs and went into naturopathy for next 5 years consulting various doctors, psychiatrists and neurologists abroad and taking their recommended nutriceuticals. But, he still was far from previous abilities that he had lost. With just partial remission and residual cognitive deficits, he thought he was suffering from major depression that havent been fully addressed. But, he was in dilemma between MDD and attention deficit disorder(ADD). But, he more biased towards possibility of MDD as causative factor. So, he presented to psychiatrist Prashant Goyal his depressive symptoms with a focus on psychological energy aspect of depression. But, he had told he was never good at attention eversince. So, he had marked possibility of ADD. He tried one antidepressant after another resulting in multiple failures and 5 months of just suffering. Then, he along with his father presented entire psychiatric history from 2004 till date. He suggested adding on an anticonvuslant that works  more from below, as Phoenix had more of depression than mania. But the residual neurocognitive symptoms were still lurking behind. But, his goal of treatment was to put the cognitive symptoms too in remission that have been responsible for his being non-functionable.

Now, he took the matters in his hands and started referring various psychiatry and neuroscience texts, articles and papers and came to conclusion with much scientific evidence know that neurocognitive symptoms were part of ADD. He presented those findings to the psychiatrist who though was theoretically convinced but was reluctant to make a diagnosis until he had an interview with his parents. Phoenix reached a correct diagnoses lately. Now, he has got fresh lease of life. Now, what still remains to address is his questions related to starting of career.